Thorpe Park

Chertsey, Surrey, UK

Date of last visit: September 2003 (update coming in 2006)

Age of kids at the time: 8 and 5. Free entry for children under 4.

Travel: Just off the M25, junctions 11 or 13. Car parking is free

The Scores… (details below):


Family Factor: 7/10

Rides for Kids:  6/10

Rides for Parents: 8/10

The Big Ride: 8/10 (Colossus)

Cleanliness: 7/10

Food: 7/10


OVERALL TPX SCORE: 7/10

These days Thorpe Park sells itself as the thrill seekers destination of the three Tussauds Parks (Alton Towers and Chessington are the other two). Its two most recent major investments have been big, multi-looping roller coasters and for 2005 the scaling down of the park's family potential is being emphasised by the closure of the really very good Flying Fish powered family coaster. This is to make way for  Project Stealth, a potentially very exciting (and fast) launched coaster for 2006, but not something you'll be able to let a six year old loose on.

You can happily take your young family to Thorpe, but there are other parks that have a better selection of family rides and attractions as Thorpe gears up to become adrenaline central. This isn't really a criticism as it's the direction Tussauds want the park to go in. If it's inversions you want, though, Thorpe has plenty - ten of them on one coaster for starters. Thorpe also has some excellent detailing - take a wander around the tidal wave afflicted community of Amity Cove to see what I mean. This is theming to Disney quality. There's only so much fun a five year old can have marvelling at the intricate detail, though. Those not of a nervous disposition will also get a Sky Swat (like a giant rotating fly swatter) and a huge swing ride in 2005.

Height restrictions are as given in the park gate map, but you should check the park web site for the latest on these.

Official web site

Most of the rides for the youngest kids are concentrated in the cheerfully bright Octopus Garden at the centre of the park. This is handy as your kids can wander from ride to ride and you can easily keep an eye on them. Although the number of family rides is rather lacking (especially now that the Flying Fish and Eclipse have closed) you still feel pretty well catered for as a parent - Single Rider Queue is brilliant (I queued for all of two minutes for Nemesis: Inferno) - on some of the more extreme rides you can go straight up to the ride exit if you are on your own and be put into the next available spare single seat. Excellent if you are the only one of your family group who rides the more exciting stuff. Another useful point is that the park is relatively compact, so none of the trudging across vast distances of other parks (which can waste a lot of time, especially if you have a pushchair along for the ride). There was no virtual queuing system working when we were at Thorpe, although Fasttrack does operate on some of the bigger rides at peak times - check with the park for details.

Thorpe scores low here due to a lack of family rides. There's a few aimed at little kids, but not so much for everyone to go on together. Still, this isn't really what Thorpe is about, so brave parents should take it in turns to say "never mind" and head straight for Colossus.  There's an artificial beach area, but this is Surrey not Spain and that's only going to be useful in the summer. When I told her  that Flying Fish and Eclipse were being removed our daughter thought 6/10 was being too generous...

A few mini-reviews of some of the rides from the point of view of how our kids got on with them:

Octopus' Garden A collection of dayglo bright tots roundabout rides usefully positioned at the middle of the park. Our youngest had a great time going from ride to ride and giving them all a try, but as it wasn't that busy he was done with them all in about half an hour max 1.3m

Eclipse A large Fabbri ferris wheel (visible in the view of the park above). Bit of a queue to get on it (slow loading I suppose) and hardly exciting, but a great view from the top and kept the kids happy. Regrettably now removed from the park (more evidence of the shift towards a thrill seeking audience)

Rumba Rapids Another example of the very popular Intamin rapids ride, but the most boring one we've been on. Less exciting than the ones at Alton Towers and Parc Asterix, not as well themed as the one at Gardaland - totally underwhelming. The Ribena association seemed pointless, and we didn't even get very wet. Moan moan moan min 0.9m, children under 1.1m must be accompanied by an adult

Storm in a Teacup You can see Thorpe struggling to fit a teacup ride (fairly gentle waltzer-ish thing) into the Amity Cove theme here. Storm in a Teacup indeed. Our five year old liked this one, and you can keep it fairly gentle if you don't spin the cup too much min 0.9m, children under 1.1m must be accompanied by an adult

Flying Fish Again a slightly tentative link to Amity Cove, presumably the fish got thrown onto the quayside by the tidal wave. Anyway, this is a Mack powered coaster, a bit like a mini mine train, and great fun. Both our kids liked this (although our eight year old prefers its big brother, the Runaway Mine Train at Alton Towers). Nice and twisty and right in amongst the foliage. Since removed from the park (RIP)

Waterbus to the Farm (and train back) Take the ferry across to the farm, where you can talk to the animals (or eat ice cream) until the train arrives to take you back. This will kill an hour or so for the kids, but it's the sort of thing you find all over the country - you want more spectacle out of a theme park. I guess it's part of Thorpe's history, though, and there if you want to go and see it. I believe the waterbuses will be gone in 2005 due to building works, so the train will have to do all the work children under 1.4m must be accompanied by an adult

Spiderman Show We only experienced one show. All the performers did very well, but it's the kind of thing that Disney do so much better (on a much grander scale with no doubt 20 times the budget). The kids liked it (well, thought it was "quite good") and didn't fidget much, which is saying something

Fungle Safari Trundle along on a guide-rail type vintage car ride (themed after a safari, with the cars in camouflage colours). Was made more exciting by the ride operator putting on the emergency evacuation message by mistake (everyone stayed put so it's a good job there wasn't a real rhino stampede or anything) children under 1m must be accompanied by an adult

Banana Ride A slightly toned down pirate ship swing ride. The rearmost seats at each end were worryingly roped off; we got plenty of air time on the next row in. Our five year old actually wanted it to go higher, but I thought it went high enough, thanks min 0.9m, children under 1.1m must be accompanied by an adult

Model World and Garden Quite pleasant for a quick look round on the way to the waterbus; I especially liked the mini CN Tower (one day I'll go up the real thing). However, a nuclear strike in the form of Project Stealth is soon to wipe this world out; say goodbye to another more sedate part of the park

Rocky Express Er, never even saw this one. Must have walked straight past it on the way to the log flume, though. Oh well. Apparently it's a little train roundabout for the kiddies Not ridden min 0.9m, children under 1.1m must be accompanied by an adult

Adults have very little to complain about at Thorpe Park, unless they are after an "intermediate" coaster rather than a multi-looping behemoth. Colossus is a genuine world record holder (highest number of inversions, at 10), Tidal Wave is great just to watch, and things will get even better in 2005. Single Rider Queue is a total boon if only one of you likes the big rides (or parents can take it in turns to ride).

Quick mini-reviews of some of the attractions aimed at grownups:

Colossus See The Big Ride below.

Nemesis: Inferno I'm sure some people would argue that this is now the "big ride" at Thorpe Park, but I would beg to differ. To me it doesn't offer anything really new in the UK - although their layouts are different, the related coaster at Alton Towers (Nemesis) does similar things better (and was also the original, which counts for a lot). That said, Inferno is still a fabulous ride - it looks great with its deep red track, it has smoke and light special effects on the way through the volcano (although I think some water effects later in the ride were missing when we were there) and with Single Rider Queue I only had to wait a few minutes to go on. There are four inversions which were taken much more smoothly than the original Nemesis navigates its twists and turns, but for me the anticipation and excitement just weren't the same. Having ridden Demon at Tivoli Gardens I would have preferred a floorless coaster for that extra element of originality; still, this is one of very few places in the UK that you can ride one of these superb feats of Bolliger and Mabillard ride engineering. Coaster fans, start arranging your trip to Thorpe now. By the way, Inferno had broken down when the picture was taken (the passengers were rescued off the lift hill about 20 minutes later). Don't let that put you off, though min 1.4m

Detonator A big (and popular, looking at the wait) drop tower. I only go on these if there's little or no queue. So it's a pity I didn't know that it has Single Rider Queue - maybe it hadn't at the time? Not ridden min 1.3m

Tidal Wave This huge water ride is the centrepiece of the really well themed Amity Cove, and is presumably supposed to be what drowned the town. No chance to ride it, unfortunately, but it's the kind of attraction you can happily sit and watch for a while from a distance. A pretty big distance because the wave from the boats coming down the massive drop sprays out across the paths around Amity Cove, soaking guests who perhaps thought they could stay dry for the day Not ridden min 1.2m

Loggers Leap A log flume with a nicely themed station and a surprisingly big queue when we were there (45 minutes) - it was a hot day, though, and flumes are good for cooling down on. There are boards in the queue line with questions and answers on them in an attempt to keep you amused. I think they were about wood, or Canadians, or something. Fastrack operates in peak season. Our eight year old went on it although she isn't keen on big drops. Unfortunately for her the last drop on this is quite impressive for a log flume, which probably explains the  queue, and made me glad I waited for it 1.3-1.9m

X:\No Way Out Dark non-inverting roller coaster in reverse which I wanted to try, although from what I've read it sounds a bit sad. I thought about trying to get Pen to go on it, but she hasn't forgiven me yet for convincing her to go on the Black Hole at Alton Towers. I think it put her off dark coasters for life Not ridden min 1.4m

Zodiac An Enterprise, the huge spinning wheel which starts horizontally and is lifted vertically by a hydraulic arm. I haven't ridden this one, but there's an identical one at Alton Towers which I've been on several times and they are an excellent ride - feels like you are going weightless on the way down once the wheel is vertical. Pen won't go anywhere near these things, and nor will our eight year old - it does look pretty scary once it gets going. Recommended min 1.1m, children under 1.4m must be accompanied by an adult

Quantum A magic carpet ride, similar to the one Alton Towers used to have. Didn't have time to ride it; again Pen avoids these like the bubonic plague. Our eight year old might have liked it as you remain the right way up throughout Not ridden min 1.2m

Samurai and Vortex Two probably top quality rotating vomit rides. I really can't do these, I'm afraid. The last Vortex-like ride I went on was placed so close to the ride next to it I thought we were going to collide, with severed legs spinning off in all directions. They look excellent from the ground, but I would rather spend my precious queuing time waiting for a roller coaster. If anyone would like to submit an original review for these I'll happily include it here. Both have Single Rider Queues Not ridden min 1.4m

Depth Charge We were at Thorpe in September so the artificial beach area wasn't much use to us. The only part of it we tried was this hilarious  water slide in rubber dinghies with a series of big, fast drops, which our eldest and I thought was fab. A long climb up the steps, but at least we could watch the passengers being evacuated from the broken Nemesis: Inferno on the way up min 0.9m, children under 1.2m must be accompanied by an adult

This was the ride that I really wanted to try at Thorpe Park. I'd pretty much ignored Thorpe until this appeared - it's difficult to resist the lure of a world record holding roller coaster that for once is in Surrey rather than the USA. Colossus can be seen from a long way off, and is one of those rides where anticipation builds up well before you get on it. The effect is helped by the way the queue line curls around and under the ride with pale blue loops and twists everywhere you look, and how the excellent design of the ride and its environment merges in perfectly with the Lost City area.

The Intamin trains look a bit nondescript, with strange bolted-on metal plates to stop you from sticking your legs outside the cars (and thus losing them). I think the plates have been removed more recently; perhaps they put up a sign telling riders not to be stupid. The station keeps the atmosphere up, and after a 40 minute wait the first time I was on board. The lift hill is over with pretty smartly, and then its into a variety pack of coaster inversions, all of them total fun, with even a little bunny-hop airtime hill chucked in for free. The pace of the coaster seemed bizarrely sedate, as if the ride was on two thirds power (yes I know this kind of coaster isn't powered - it coasts). In a way this seemed to add to the amusement value, especially on the inline twists where you appear to hang upside down for seconds at a time (you can probably stand underneath this part of the ride and catch all the personal items falling out of peoples' pockets).

The only part of the ride I found uncomfortable in the otherwise pretty good restraints was the cobra roll, which seemed to wrench your head in odd directions even though the train didn't feel like it was travelling very quickly at that point. The whole thing was infinitely preferable to the last mega-looping "sit-in" coaster I experienced, Goudurix at Parc Asterix, which felt like it had triangular wheels - it's that rattly. Although I only had time for two rides, I would happily have gone back for more. I only had to queue for a few minutes for my second ride once I'd realised that the very parentophilic Single Rider Queue was in operation. A great coaster, with a proper sense of occasion about it. So good I nearly bought a mug min 1.4m

It was OK - the cafe in the dome wasn't exactly eat-off-the-floor spotless but not bad by UK standards. The rest of the park was neat and tidy, though, and Thorpe are to be congratulated for the excellent condition of the theming in Amity Cove and Calypso Quay

Food 7/10

Pretty average expesive chain-cafe fare, plus offerings from the KFC/Burger King/Pizza Hut conglomerate. Bring a picnic, or just don't get your hopes up. Handy Cadburys shop to stock up on chocs for the drive home