Alton, Staffordshire, UK

Date of last visit: August 2005

Age of kids at the time: 8 and 5

Travel: Signposted from the M1 and M6. There's a £4 charge for car parking, which is a bit cheeky considering there isn't a railway station for miles around.

The Scores… (details below):


Family Factor: 8/10

Rides for Kids:  8/10

Rides for Parents: 8/10

The Big Ride: 9/10 (Nemesis)

Cleanliness: 7/10

Food: 6/10


OVERALL TPX SCORE: 8/10

For this family Alton Towers is the granddaddy of all theme parks. It was the first proper theme park all of us ever visited (in my case back in 1986) - I'd only experienced the likes of Great Yarmouth, Walton on the Naze and (ahem) Felixstowe seafront amusement parks until then. Over the years the park has kept pace with ride technology, so it  now serves up many high tech and highly rated coasters and other rides, but at the same time I think it has lost a bit of its fun and charm as it has become more "serious". X Sector, Forbidden Valley, Hex and Gloomy Wood have stepped in to replace the likes of Fantasy World, Thunder Valley and Festival Park, which were more cheerful if not exactly "themed". Still, this doesn't stop us from having a real soft spot for the place, and we still get excited about going there (it helps that we only get to go about once every two years, which makes it more of an occasion). Can't get enough of that spectacular view from the main entrance area (Towers Street) across the lake to the Towers - beats Disneyland Paris's artificial castle every time...

The letdowns are the food outlets (as usual in the UK) and a feeling of scruffiness in some areas, which AT need to guard against since they're up against some very serious continental competition in this era of cheap flights. There is now a priority queueing system which gives you pre-arranged, timed rides on a specific group of attractions. Great idea, except that it costs extra, and Fastrack wasn't working when we visited. With Alton Towers you really, truly do need to pick a day that won't be too busy to get the best value out of your day. Got a school INSET day coming up? Head for AT.

There is no reduced entrance price if any members of your party want to just amble around the gardens and avoid the rides, but you can usually find special offers (Tescos and Kellog's spring to mind) to help keep costs under control, and there are family tickets available.

There are various information signs around the park giving an indication of queue times, but they seemed to bear no relation to what was actually happening whilst we were there.

On one visit we stayed in the Alton Towers Hotel for a couple of nights, which was great fun and extremely handy - it made for a much more relaxed time. Cost wasn't too bad as a treat as you got a package including park tickets, and you could get into the park 30 minutes early. Prices have gone up pretty spectacularly in the past year or two, though (since the second hotel and the new water park opened).

Official web site

The car parks are vast and some are a long way from the entrance. Luckily Alton has a monorail which as well as ferrying punters to the gates also gives you a good look at part of the park (especially Nemesis) on the way. There's a high concentration of kids rides in and around Adventureland close to the park entrance, but otherwise the different themed lands are quite far apart and the area covered by the theme park is huge. Be prepared to do some serious walking, and make full use of the Skyride cable cars if they happen to be working (an attraction themselves, especially with the great views of the unspoilt valley between Forbidden Valley and Ug Land). Things like these are a sign of a proper, grown-up theme park where you can feel like you're doing something special even when you're just being carried from A to B. Mind you if you leave late the queues for the monorail back to the far end of the car park can be as big as the queues for the rides in the park.

Alton Towers can get incredibly crowded at peak times, so look at the gate map and plan the date of your visit carefully. The Single Rider Queue (great if only one member of your family wants to go on a major ride) can be extremely useful, but be careful - the SRQ for Air was taking as long as the regular queue to clear as so few single riders were being let through. On the other hand the SRQ for Nemesis was working perfectly and I only waited 10 minutes. The queues are sometimes confusingly signposted, so ask a member of staff if you aren't sure. I once had to queue for two hours for Nemesis on a Bank Holiday soon after it first opened. If you choose a sensible day for your visit you should be able to avoid that kind of nonsense. I actually thought Nemesis was worth the wait at the time, by the way.

Fastrack timed tickets still exist, but the system wasn't working when we were there.

Alton is big, it has a lot of rides and there is quite a lot for kids there, although in some of the themed areas it won't feel like it. Adventureland and the nearby Storybook Land (which looks great, although the talking bookworm had packed up) and farm score highly for kids. Bear in mind that there will be big crowds heading for the likes of Nemesis and Air which are quite a walk away, so get your pre-booked tickets sorted (or aim to go on the big rides early or late in the day) or you might run out of time.

A few mini-reviews of some of the rides from the point of view of how the kids got on with them:

Runaway Mine Train One of our favourite family coasters and good high-speed fun. In the African themed Katanga Canyon and great for almost anyone of the required height to ride it, although those nearer 0.9m will need to be told to hang on tight. No steep drops but plenty of zip, and it winds around the nearby rapids ride. If it's not too busy the operator might let you go round a few times. The track is made to look rickety for effect but this is in fact one very solid powered family coaster min 0.9m, 0.9-1.1m must be accompanied by an adult

Congo River Rapids An Intamin rapids ride in six seater "rubber ring" - style boats. Great for families and groups to go on together, and you can get pretty wet under the waterfalls and jets. The Mine Train circles around the ride and shares a tunnel at one point. Our youngest was a bit apprehensive back when he was 5 but enjoyed it in the end, and now at 7 he's fine with it min 0.9m, 0.9-1.1m must be accompanied by an adult

Squirrel Nutty Great for little kids, although they have to be accompanied. Ride sedately around Storybook Land in a monorail car shaped like a giant squirrel about 12ft up in the air. The squirrels used to have pedals (how strange is that?) so that you could pretend you had some control over them, but they seem to have fallen off children under 1.1m must be accompanied by an adult

Tractors Big, brightly coloured tractors guided by a rail. Extremely slow, so you get the chance for a sit down in the shade children under 1m must be accompanied by an adult

Vintage Cars Chug about in big vintage cars, again guided by a rail so your kids can't choose to ram raid the nearby Tweenies show. Passes the time gently enough and the little ones like them

Tweenies Play Area Reasonably sized soft play area, if a bit dark. Handy if it starts raining. Has different zones for different ages of kids max 1.5m

Tweenies Show Didn't have time to see it. Sorry. Do kids still like the Tweenies these days? Ours have got past that stage now, thankfully

Ice Dance Show Didn't bother with this either. For some reason it had no appeal for any of us. Maybe next time, considering how taken some of our family now are with ITV's Dancing On Ice

Toyland Tours Previously an unwelcome reminder of the mind-melting It's a Small World at Disneyland Paris. A gentle indoor boat ride around cute scenes of toys being made, now sadly retired so it can be re-vamped into Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (due to open in 2006). Handy for McDonalds, if that's a good thing No longer operating

Old MacDonalds Farm A largely ignored farm area near the park entrance. Was rather decimated by the foot and mouth crisis. Ribena Berry Bish Bash is here

Riverbank Eye Spy Little guided riverboats meander along a stream past farmyard scenes, with a narration by a character that sounds like he's holding his nose. There are buttons to make you boat emit farm animal noises, which yor children (and probably the adults) will press repeatedly just for the sake of it. Oink oink children under 1.3m must be accompanied by an adult

Singing Barn Push button controlled singing animatronic farm animals. Strangely diverting for about 60 seconds

Ug Bugs Like a cross between the Jetsons and the Flintstones - prehistoric themed space ships on arms that go up and down and round and round. There aren't that many of these basic fairground rides in Alton Towers. James thought it was cool when he was 5 1-1.5m only

Ribena Berry Bish Bash Big fun house where kids can hoover up lots of soft foam balls and then blast out of guns. We didn't have time to try this one, but it's similar to attractions at Oakwood and Chessington and those kept the kids happy for quite a while. Soft play meets high tech max 1.4m unless accompanied by a child

Duel: The Haunted House Strikes Back Not actually frightening once you get on it, but the theme might put off younger kids. Dark ride on a train which lets you blast ghosts and ghouls with individual laser guns. Your car keeps a score, which is printed on your ride photo should you choose to shell out for one. Great for very competitive families. The main attraction in Gloomy Wood, with its spooky music and less spooky ice cream stand. It all looks great, though children under 1.1m must be accompanied

Tea Cups Low speed waltzer-style ride. In all the times we've been to Alton we've never bothered going on this, but should suit youngsters as it's more gentle than a normal waltzer and you can spin the cups as much or as little as you want Not ridden min 0.9m, 0.9-1.1m must be accompanied by an adult

The Beastie Kiddy coaster with a bit of a kick to it - although its small, you get thrown around quite a lot (especially at the back). Agonising for adults, in my experience children under 1.2m must be accompanied by an adult

Frog Hopper Micro drop tower for children Not ridden children under 1m must be accompanied by an adult

Alton usually keeps at the cutting edge of roller coaster technology - Corkscrew was deeply impressive in the 80s (much less so now); Nemesis, Air and Oblivion were all world firsts (or close to it). Nemesis has to be regarded as an all time classic roller coaster experience, and is not to be missed. To me the themeing of Alton Towers is a bit hit and miss, but there's always the lake, the Towers themselves (sadly just a ruin) and gardens to make up for it.

Quick mini-reviews of some of the attractions aimed at grownups:

Nemesis See The Big Ride below.

Rita - Queen of Speed Bizarrre name for a launched "rocket coaster" by Intamin. Hydraulic power is used to fire the train up to 60 mph quicker than a Ferrari (and a little quicker than the fantastic Rock 'n' Roller Coaster at Disney Studios in Paris). Problem is, unlike RnRC, not a lot happens after the admittedly quite exhilarating launch - some quick direction changes and a bit of "airtime" (where you feel like you are lifting up out of your seat), but that's it. Seeing as the height restriction is 1.4m, counting out a lot of youngsters (presumably because of the restraints), that isn't terribly impressive. I prefer Air as a slightly less extreme roller coaster experience, if that's what you want. Rita is fine if you don't have to queue for long (I used a timed ticket for it) - but I think some of the people there had been in the cattle stalls for a VERY long time. The queue line appears completely un-themed and was coated in discarded chewing gum - not impressive for a new, headline attraction which had only been open for a few months. Still, it's good that Tussauds are spending some money on the park and you have to remember that there's a very severe building height restriction in operation (so having no lift hill was an advantage for Alton). Makes good use of a restricted space as well, threading its way around the Corkscrew, and helps bring people to a previously rather forgotten part of the park min 1.4 m

Air High tech flying coaster - you manoeuvre yourself into the cleverly-designed seats and before the train sets off you are raised into a Superman-style horizontal flying position. There's a dummy seat near the ride entrance so that you can check you fit before queuing. Don't be put off if you aren't usually into big roller coasters - this is exhilirating rather than vicious, and the ride is extremely smooth and comfortable (at least for a six foot 13 stoner like me), even though it turns you upside down for a while so that you're flying on your back. A total contrast to Oblivion and Nemesis, but still recommended. Try it - you'll very probably like it. Family members that aren't riding get a great view of the coaster overhead, as with Nemesis min 1.4m

Oblivion There's only three of these in the world at the moment, so make sure you get to try it. You may be a bit disappointed if you have to queue for a long time as the ride is very short,  so this is one for a pre-booked ticket or an early/late ride. It's very dramatic - the huge, wide train pauses at the top of a 200ft. drop and then releases you to plummet into a giant mist-filled hole in the ground, then up and out into the daylight the other side. The feeling of free fall on the way down is staggering - almost nowhere else in the world are you able to experience leaving your stomach 200ft behind you like this. Every seat on the trains is as good as any other. Too short, really, and hyped beyond belief when it was new, but you need to be able to tell people you've ridden Oblivion min 1.4m

Log Flume A decent log flume - there are a couple of fairly steep drops (one of them in the dark) and you get quite a long ride. Had dinosaurs hiding in the bushes up until a coule of years ago; now themed like bathtime. No idea how that relates to the African exploration feel of Katanga Canyon, although it actually starts in Merrie England, which is a bit confusing. The big rubber duck hiding in the ride looked a complete mess and was so silly it made our 7 year old laugh out loud. Other bits of the themeing had fallen off. It looked better before Imperial Leather came along min 0.9m, 0.9-1.1m must be accompanied by an adult

Hex: The Legend of the Towers Excellent Vekoma Madhouse with a very detailed and atmospheric pre-show to set the scene (perhaps too detailed after you've been through it once). I won't give anything away about the ride itself, suffice to say its not a roller coaster and is the best of the three we've been on. It may freak younger kids out a bit during its drama-filled finale, which completely confuses your brain as to your body's orientation... min 0.9m, 0.9-1.2m must be accompanied by an adult

Ripsaw A Huss Topspin ride that gets you wet. None of our family does these, so I can't comment really. I have been on a similar device and wasn't particularly impressed - looked more fun than it rode, and made me queasy. Still, if it's your thing... Not ridden min 1.4m

Blade A very impressive re-paint of the old Pirate Ship that used to be elsewhere in the park years ago. A huge swing that goes back a *long* way. Are you brave enough to go for the rearmost seats, where it feels like you're going to take flight and eventually splash down in the lake? A great ride and probably worth however much cash Alton spent on its makeover when it moved to Forbidden Valley min 0.9m, 0.9-1.1m must be accompanied by an adult

Spinball Whizzer A new Maurer Sohne spinning coaster, which for some reason doesn't spin as much as the very similar Dragon's Fury at Chessington and was therefore less fun. The 1.2m height restriction means a lot of kids will have to make do with the nearby Beastie. Disappointingly (given how long we had to queue) none of the pseudo-pinball games in the queue line worked, and the whole area looked a bit tacky and far less impressive than the quite elaborate decoration of the equivalent at Chessington min 1.2m

Ug Swinger Giant fairground chair-o-plane ride - individual seats hanging from chains that swing out as the ride rotates. Seems to go like stink and even our 7 year old loved it. Bit of a shame when Saxo driving idiots choose to gob at their friends on the way round. My wife likes this ride even though I remarked that the chains look thin enough for a hamster to bite through min 1.2m

Enterprise  Like a big ferris wheel that starts out horizontal and is then lifted to stand vertically by a huge hydraulic ram. Superb feeling of speed and almost-weightlessness on the way down (straight towards the ground) when its vertical. It's fast and not for the faint (or weak) hearted min 0.9m, 0.9-1.4m must be accompanied by an adult

Submission Horrendous looking spinning ride - two big cars that swoop round a bit like the old 1001 Nights (where did that go?), but are fully pivoted in the centre so that they can turn upside down (and be held in that position at the top). No thanks Not ridden min 1.2m

Black Hole  Great indoor roller coaster, now sadly closed. Was almost completely dark, and all the better for it as you had no idea what was going to happen to you. A long spiral lift (which was picked out with strips of light the last time I rode it) led to a sharp drop which gave you a good wallop as you hit the bottom. Always used to generate huge queues (and extreme apprehension in those queuing), and scared the poo out of first time riders, in my case mainly because you seemed to be held into your seat in the rather unimpressive trains by the weediest restraints ever invented. A pity it's gone; perhaps another indoor coaster will take its place in the big tent No longer operating

Corkscrew The first proper steel roller coaster I ever rode (and the first with a loop), but it's been overtaken by newer rides (and surrounded by Rita) and is probably only of sentimental interset to coaster-enthusiastic adults now. Alton have given it a coat of paint, but it was being ignored by pretty much everyone. Parents take note, though - the height restriction is only 1.2 m, so it became the first looping ride that our kids ever went on - at 7 and 10 years old. And they loved it min 1.2m

Nemesis was the roller coaster which seemed to turn Alton Towers into a park to be reckoned with overnight back in the mid-90s. The trepidation felt on queuing for this the first time over 10 years ago was quite something. It was the first ride I'd been on where the queue line was designed to intimidate you (with rider's legs swooping by overhead) as it passed around and through the ride. I had also never seen such an apocalyptic theme for a roller coaster, and done in such detail - helped by the fact that a whole area of the park was redeveloped with Nemesis as the centrepiece. The creature at the heart of the ride, which hides the station, looked unsettlingly like it had been turned inside out (seen The Fly with Jeff Goldblum?)

These inverted coasters (where the train is beneath the track and your legs dangle free) seem to be everywhere now, but back in 1994 there was pretty much nothing else like it. Seeing as it was one of the first of its kind, everything worked amazingly well - the queue line, the theme, the fast vertical loop, the drop into a canyon with what looked like a pool of bloodied water at the bottom which you skimmed past, the wall that you think you're going to hit... B&M (the ride's manufacturers) and Alton just made such superb use of a limited space. The ride was all over the television when it was built and often crops up in thrill ride documentaries, and deservedly so.

Best of all, Nemesis seems to be getting better with age. The ride I had in 2005 was the best one I've ever had: everything was working, it was smooth and fast, the "creature" had been patched up and the ride now sits right at the top of the heap as far as I'm concerned. World-class stuff.

Go for the front seats for an incredible view (it's all a bit more confusing from the rest of the train) min 1.4m

Alton has always been pretty rubbish-free when we've visited, and even the big lav blocks were OK, but X Sector now looks generally scruffy and you could see that Ug Land might head the same way. Rita looked like someone had taken a special gum-spitting machine round the queue lines - disgisting

Food 6/10

This aspect of Alton is a real let-down. Let's just say, bring some sandwiches or be disappointed - not by the staff or service, particularly, but by what's on offer. There's a McDonalds, Pizza Huts and KFCs, so all the taste bud-tingling excitement of an out-of-town retail park. It is possible to do better than this - Legoland and Gardaland can, after all (although Disneyland Paris most emphatically can not). There are also loads of Mars and Coca Cola vending machines - not a problem (just don't put any money in them), but not an exciting culinary experience either. The caff at the end of Towers Street is OK, with a good view across the lake